Freebsd Limericks

A young man of acumen and daring,
Who'd amassed a great fortune in herring,
        Was left quite alone
        When it soon became known
That their use at his board was unsparing.
                -- Edward Gorey

A young man of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
While bent over plucking a dingle
        Had the whole of Eisteddfod
        Taking turns at his pod
While they sang some impossible jingle.

A young man with passions quite gingery
Tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie.
        He slapped her behind
        And made up his mind
To add incest to insult and injury.

A young polo-player of Berkeley
Made love to his sweetheart beserkly.
        In the midst of each chukker
        He would break off and fuck her
Horizontally, laterally and verkeley.

A young systems programmer of Sprotic
Found his software intensely erotic.
        In jealous distress
        He wiped his OS.
It's possible that he's a psychotic.

A young violinist from Rio
Was seducing a woman named Cleo.
        As she took down her panties
        She said, "No andantes;
I want this allegro con brio!"

A young wife in the outskirts of Reims
Preferred frigging to going to mass.
        Said her husband, "Take Jacques,
        Or any young cock,
For I cannot live up to your ass."

A young woman got married at Chester,
Her mother she kissed her and blessed her.
        Says she, "You're in luck,
        He's a stunning good fuck,
For I've had him myself down in Leicester."

According to experts, the oyster
In its shell - a crustacean cloister -
        May frequently be
        Either he or a she
Or both, if it should be its choice ter.

Alas for the Countess d'Isere,
Whose muff wasn't furnished with hair.
        Said the Count, "Quelle surprise!"
        When he parted her thighs;
"Magnifique!  Pourtant pas de la guerre."