Freebsd Limericks

A contortionist hailing from Lynch
Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
        A foot cost a quid --
        He could and he did
Stretch it to three in a pinch.

A corpulent maiden named Kroll
Had a notion exceedingly droll:
        At a masquerade ball,
        Dressed in nothing at all,
She backed in as a Parker House roll.

A couple was fishing near Clombe
When the maid began looking quite glum,
        And said, "Bother the fish!
        I'd rather coish!"
Which they did -- which was why they had come.

A cowhand way out in Seattle
Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
        He said, "No, I can't fuck
        A lamb or a duck,
But golly! it just fits the cattle."

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Saracen.
        She was not oversexed,
        Or jealous or vexed,
She just wanted to make a comparison.

A CS student named Lin
Had a prick the size of a pin
        It was no good for girls
        But just great for squirrels
Who squealed with delight with it in.

A cute little twerp from Samoa
Had a cock of one inch and no moa.
        It was good for keyholes
        And debutantes' peeholes
But not worth a damn on a whoa.

A daredevil skater named Lowe,
Leaps barrels arranged in the snow,
        But is proudest of doing,
        Some incredible screwing,
Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row!

A deep-throated virgin named Netty
Was sucking a cock on the jetty.
        She said, "It tastes nice,
        Much better than rice,
Though not quite as good as spaghetti."

A delighted, incredulous bride
Remarked to her groom at her side :
        "I never could quite
         Believe till tonight
Our anatomies would coincide."