Freebsd Limericks

There once was a Swede in Minneapolis,
Discovered his sex life was hapless:
        The more he would screw
        The more he'd want to,
And he feared he would soon be quite sapless.

There once was a Usenetter named Mark,
Whose gender was kept in the dark.
        He/she/it said with a nod,
        "My ancestors were odd!"
Did Noah need two for the ark?

There once was a whore from Regina
Who had a stupendous vagina.
        To save herself time,
        She had six at a time,
And another one working behind her.

There once was a woman from Arden
Who sucked off a man in a garden.
        He said, "My dear Flo,
        Where does all that stuff go?"
And she said, "[Swallow hard] I beg pardon?"

There once was a yokel of Beaconsfield
Engaged to look after the deacon's field,
        But he lurked in the ditches
        And diddled the bitches
Who happened to cross that antique 'un's field.

There once was a young fellow named Blaine,
And he screwed some disgusting old jane.
        She was ugly and smelly,
        With an awful pot-belly,
But... well, they were caught in the rain.

There once was a young girl from Natches
Who chanced to be born with two snatches
        She often said, "Shit!
        I'd give either tit
For a guy with equipment that matches."

There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town in an Austin,
        There was room for his ass,
        And a gallon of gas,
So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years for his chance;
Then he muffed it...

There once was a young man from Yuma
Who attempted sex with a puma
        He gave up real quick
        Minus nose, toes, and prick
In obvious pain and ill huma.