Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady from Bangor
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor
        She woke in dismay
        When she heard the mate say:
"Let's lift up the topsheet and spanker!"

There was a young lady from Bright,
Whose speed was much faster than light.
        She went out one day
        In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

There was a young lady from Bristol
Who went to the Palace called Crystal.
        Said she, "It's all glass,
        And as round as my ass,"
And she farted as loud as a pistol.

There was a young lady from Brussels
Who was proud of her vaginal muscles.
        She could easily plex them
        And so interflex them
As to whistle love songs through her bustles.

There was a young lady from Drew
Who ended her verse at line two.

There was a young lady from Dumfries
Who said to her boyfriend, "It's some freeze!
        My navel's all bare,
        So stick it in there,
Before both my legs and my bum freeze."

There was a young lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
        One was even so brave
        As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
        While her lover lamented
        The apple fermented
And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady from Maine
Who claimed she had men on her brain.
        But you knew from the view,
        As her abdomen grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

There was a young lady from Munich
Who had an affair with a eunuch.
        At the height of their passion
        He dealt her a ration