Freebsd Limericks

A frustrated lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
        They found her vagina
        In North Carolina
And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A gay young prince from Morocco
Made love in a manner rococco.
        He painted his penis
        To resemble a venus
And flavored his semen with cocoa.

A geneticist living in Delft
Scientifically played with himself,
        And when he was done
        He labled it: son,
And filed him away on a shelf.

A geneticist living in Delft
Scientifically played with himself,
        And when he was done
        He labled it: son,
And filed him away on a shelf.
A gentleman, otherwise meek,
Detested with passion the leek;
        When offered one out
        He dealt such a clout
To the maid, she was down for a week.
                -- Edward Gorey

A gentleman, otherwise meek,
Detested with passion the leek;
        When offered one out
        He dealt such a clout
To the maid, she was down for a week.
                -- Edward Gorey

A german composer named Bruckner
Remarked to a lady while fuckener :
        "Less lento, my dear,
         With your cute little rear;
I like a hot presto when muckener!"

A gift was delivered to Laura
From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah;
        Wrapped in tissue and crepe,
        It was peeled, like a grape,
And emitted a pale, greenish aura.
                -- Edward Gorey

A gifted young fellow from Sparta
Was widely renowned as a farta'.
        He could fart anything
        From "Of Thee I Sing,"
To Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata."

A girl camper once had an affair
With a fellow all covered with hair.
        When she gave him his hat
        She realized that
She'd been had by Smokey the Bear.

A girl of the Enterprise crew
Refused every offer to screw.
        But a Vulcan named Spock
        Crawled under her smock,
And now she is eating for two.