Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady named Gilda
Who went on a date with a builder.
        He said that he would,
        And he could and he should,
And he did and it damn well near killed her.

There was a young lady named Gloria
Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier,
        And then by six men,
        Sir Gerald again,
And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?"
        She replied to the chap,
        "I'll draw you a map,
Of where others have been to before ya."

There was a young lady named Grace
Who would not take a prick in her "place."
        Though she'd kiss it and suck it,
        She never would fuck it--
She just couldn't relax face-to-face.

There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
        The dress caught on fire
        And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section, and all.

There was a young lady named Hatch
Who would always come through in a scratch.
        If a guy wouldn't neck her,
        She'd grab up his pecker
And shove the damn thing up her snatch.

There was a young lady named Mable
Who liked to sprawl out on the table,
        Then cry to her man,
        "Stuff in all you can --
Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able."

There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
        By coming out bare
        On the main village square
And frigging herself with a candle.

There was a young lady named Maud,
A terrible society fraud:
        In company, I'm told,
        She was distant and cold,
But if you got her alone, Oh God!

There was a young lady named May
Who strolled in a park by the way,
        And she met a youg man
        Who fucked her and ran --
Now she goes to the park every day.