Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday October 12, 2012

When your conscious becomes unconscious, you are drunk. When...
When your conscious becomes unconscious, you are drunk. When your unconscious becomes conscious, you are stoned.

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed...
A cocksucking steno named Beeman Remarked as she swallowed my semen : "On my minuscule salary I must watch every calorie, So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"

A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts...
A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while...
A german composer named Bruckner Remarked to a lady while fuckener : "Less lento, my dear, With your cute little rear; I like a hot presto when muckener!"

It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More...
It's faster horses, Younger women, Older whiskey and More money. -- Tom T. Hall, "The Secret of Life"

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...