Daily Fortunes

Mar 12, 2012

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland...
I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I have a bet with...

I remember Ulysses well... Left one day for the post office...
I remember Ulysses well... Left one day for the post office to mail a letter, met a blonde named Circe on the streetcar, and didn't come back for 20 years.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means...
I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole. -- Leo Kessler

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights...
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. -- Steven Wright

Daily Fortunes for Mar 12, 2012

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