Freebsd Fortunes 4

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some
kind of loophole.
                -- Leo Kessler

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights.  Now it
looks like I'm the only one moving.
                -- Steven Wright

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
                -- Wilson Mizner

I respect the institution of marriage.  I have always thought that every
woman should marry -- and no man.
                -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all  makes everything in New
England, but the weather.  I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere
if they don't get it.
                -- Mark Twain

"I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5."
He said,"What you need is to grow up, son."
I said,"Growin' up leads to growin' old,
And then to dying, and to me that don't sound like much fun."
                -- John Cougar, "The Authority Song"

I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink...
and then natural selection reared its ugly head.

I saw a man pursuing the Horizon,
'Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this,
I accosted the man,
"It is futile," I said.
"You can never--"
"You lie!" He cried,
and ran on.
                -- Stephen Crane

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
                -- Stephen Wright

I saw Lassie.  It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid
never spoke. I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that
deserve a series?"