Freebsd Fortunes 4

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
the opening theme music of 'Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
"You're right."  The porter said,  "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
                -- Alistair Cooke

I remember Ulysses well...  Left one day for the post office
to mail a letter, met a blonde named Circe on the streetcar,
and didn't come back for 20 years.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some
kind of loophole.
                -- Leo Kessler

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights.  Now it
looks like I'm the only one moving.
                -- Steven Wright

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
                -- Wilson Mizner

I respect the institution of marriage.  I have always thought that every
woman should marry -- and no man.
                -- Benjamin Disraeli, "Lothair"

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all  makes everything in New
England, but the weather.  I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere
if they don't get it.
                -- Mark Twain

"I said, "Preacher, give me strength for round 5."
He said,"What you need is to grow up, son."
I said,"Growin' up leads to growin' old,
And then to dying, and to me that don't sound like much fun."
                -- John Cougar, "The Authority Song"

I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink...
and then natural selection reared its ugly head.