Daily Fortunes

Aug 22, 2016

Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most...
Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four...
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. -- Orson Welles

My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese,...
My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side. -- Senator Hubert Humphrey

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

Never drink coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion...
Never drink coke in a moving elevator. The elevator's motion coupled with the chemicals in coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change into lizards and attack without warning, and large bats usually fly in the window. Additionally, you begin to believe that...

Daily Fortunes for Aug 22, 2016

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