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May 21, 2018

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of...
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"

When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons...
When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality. -- Al Capone

When the cup is full, carry it level.
When the cup is full, carry it level.

When the going gets tough, the tough go grab a beer.
When the going gets tough, the tough go grab a beer.

While riding in a train between London and Birmingham,...
While riding in a train between London and Birmingham, a woman inquired of Oscar Wilde, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" Wilde gave her a sidelong glance and replied, "I don't mind if you burn, madam."

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