Daily Fortunes

Aug 28, 2013

"I assure you the thought never even crossed...
"I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord." "Indeed? Then if I were you I'd sue my face for slander." -- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch...
I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -- Gilda Radner

I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house...
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. -- Steven Wright

I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What...
I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good...

"I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe...
"I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ..." -- Steven Wright

Daily Fortunes for Aug 28, 2013

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