Daily Fortunes

May 15, 2018

How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell...
How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read. -- Karl Kraus, "Aphorisms and More Aphorisms"

How kind of you to be willing to live someone's life for them.
How kind of you to be willing to live someone's life for them.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door...
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth...
How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth do they all go to? -- Sir Arthur Wing Pinero

How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray...
How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by a waiter at a nice party? Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's inside, you take...

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