Freebsd Limericks

A lovely young maid from St. Jude
Once rode through the streets in the nude.
        The police cried, "Whatam--
        Agnificent bottom"
And slapped it as hard as they cude.

A lusty young maid from Seattle
Got pleasure by sleeping with cattle;
        Till she found a bull
        Who filled her so full
It made both her ovaries rattle.

A lusty young woodsman of Maine
For years with no woman had lain,
        But he found sublimation
        At a high elevation
In the crotch of a pine -- God, the pain!

A madam who ran a bordello
Put come in her pineapple jello,
        For the rich, sexy taste
        And not wanting to waste
That greasy kid stuff from a fellow.

A maestro directing in Rome
Had a quaint way of driving it home.
        Whoever he climbed
        Had to keep her tail timed
To the beat of his old metronome.

A maiden who lived in Virginny
Had a cunt that could bark, neigh and whinny.
        The horsey set rushed her,
        But success finally crushed her
For her tone soon became harsh and tinny.

A maiden who travelled in France
Once got on a train, just by chance.
        The engineer fucked her,
        The conductor sucked her,
And the fireman came in his pants.

A maiden who wrote of big cities
Some songs full of love, fun and pities,
        Sold her stuff at the shop
        Of a musical wop
Who played with her soft little titties.

A man was once heard to boast,
That he received a parcel by post,
        It contained, so we heard,
        A magnificent turd,
And the balls of his grandfather's ghost.

A marine being sent to Hong Kong
Got a doctor to alter his dong.
        He sailed off with a tool
        Flat and thin as a rule -
When he got there he found he was wrong.