Freebsd Limericks

A maiden who lived in Virginny
Had a cunt that could bark, neigh and whinny.
        The horsey set rushed her,
        But success finally crushed her
For her tone soon became harsh and tinny.

A maiden who travelled in France
Once got on a train, just by chance.
        The engineer fucked her,
        The conductor sucked her,
And the fireman came in his pants.

A maiden who wrote of big cities
Some songs full of love, fun and pities,
        Sold her stuff at the shop
        Of a musical wop
Who played with her soft little titties.

A man was once heard to boast,
That he received a parcel by post,
        It contained, so we heard,
        A magnificent turd,
And the balls of his grandfather's ghost.

A marine being sent to Hong Kong
Got a doctor to alter his dong.
        He sailed off with a tool
        Flat and thin as a rule -
When he got there he found he was wrong.

A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexhedronical ball,
        And the square of its weight
        Times his pecker's, plus eight,
Was four-fifths of five-eighths of fuck-all.

A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
        And the cube of its weight
        Times his pecker's, plus eight
Is his phone number -- give him a call...

A mathematician named Klein
Thought the Mobius band was divine.
        Said he, "If you glue
        The edges of two,
You'll get a weird bottle like mine!

A middle-aged codger named Bruin
Found his love life completely in ruin,
        For he flirted with flirts
        Wearing pants and no skirts,
And he never got in for no screwin'.

A milkmaid there was, with a stutter,
Who was lonely and wanted a futter.
        She had nowhere to turn,
        So she diddled a churn,
And managed to come with the butter.