Freebsd Limericks

A cautious young fellow named Lodge,
Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
        With his date all strapped in
        He committed a sin
Without even leaving the garage.
                -- "A Boy and His Dog"

A cautious young fellow named Tunney
Had a whang that was worth any money.
        When eased in half-way,
        The girl's sigh made him say,
"Why the sigh?"  "For the rest of it, honey."

A certain young man, it was noted,
Went about in the heat thickly-coated;
        He said, "You may scoff,
        But I shan't take it off;
Underneath I am horribly bloated."
                -- Edward Gorey

A certain young person of Ghent,
Uncertain if lady or gent,
        Shows his organs at large
        For a small handling charge
To assist him in paying the rent.

A certain young sheik of Algiers
Said to his harem, "My dears,
        Though you may think it odd of me,
        I'm tired of just sodomy
Let's try straight fucking."  (loud cheers!)

A chap down in Oklahoma
Had a cock that could sing La Paloma,
        But the sweetness of pitch
        Couldn't put off the hitch
Of impotence, size and aroma.

A charmer from old Amarillo,
Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow,
        Decided one day
        That to keep men away
She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

A chippy who worked in Black Bluff
Had a pussy as large as a muff.
        It had room for both hands
        And some intimate glands,
And was soft as a little duck's fluff.

A clerical student named Pryne
Through pain sought to reach the divine:
        He wore a hair shirt,
        Quite often ate dirt,
And bathed every Friday in brine.
                -- Edward Gorey

A clever young man named Eugene
Invented a jack-off machine.
        On the twenty-third stroke
        The fuckin' thing broke
And beat both his balls to a creame.