Freebsd Limericks

A programmer down in Moline
Said, I'm the match for any machine.
        My secret's aversion,
        To loops and recursion,
Just acres of in-line routine.
                -- W.J. Wilson

A progressive professor named Winners
Held classes each evening for sinners.
        They were graded and spaced
        So the vile and debased
Would not be held back by beginners.

A rapist who reeked of cheap booze
Attempted to ravish Miss Hughes.
        She cried, "I suppose
        There's no time for my clothes,
But PLEASE let me take off my shoes!"

A rapturous young fellatrix
One day was at work on five pricks.
        With an unholy cry
        She whipped out her glass eye:
"Tell the boys I can now take on six."

A reckless young lady of France
Had no qualms about taking a chance,
        But she thought it was crude
        To get screwed in the nude,
So she always went home with damp pants.

A remarkable race are the Persians;
They have such peculiar diversions.
        They make love the whole day
        In the usual way
And save up the nights for perversions.

A remarkable race are the Persians,
They have such peculiar diversions.
        They screw the whole day
        In the regular way,
And save up the nights for perversions.

A responsive young girl from the East
In bed was an able artiste.
        She had learned two positions
        From family physicians,
And ten more from the old parish priest.

A romantic attraction has clung
To a chap of whom damsels have sung:
        "'Tis the Scourge from the East,
        That lascivious beast
Who was known as Attila the Hung!"

A sailor who slept in the sun,
Woke to find his fly buttons undone,
        He remarked with a smile,
        "Good grief, a sun-dial!
And now it's a quarter-past one."