Freebsd Limericks

A rapturous young fellatrix
One day was at work on five pricks.
        With an unholy cry
        She whipped out her glass eye:
"Tell the boys I can now take on six."

A reckless young lady of France
Had no qualms about taking a chance,
        But she thought it was crude
        To get screwed in the nude,
So she always went home with damp pants.

A remarkable race are the Persians;
They have such peculiar diversions.
        They make love the whole day
        In the usual way
And save up the nights for perversions.

A remarkable race are the Persians,
They have such peculiar diversions.
        They screw the whole day
        In the regular way,
And save up the nights for perversions.

A responsive young girl from the East
In bed was an able artiste.
        She had learned two positions
        From family physicians,
And ten more from the old parish priest.

A romantic attraction has clung
To a chap of whom damsels have sung:
        "'Tis the Scourge from the East,
        That lascivious beast
Who was known as Attila the Hung!"

A sailor who slept in the sun,
Woke to find his fly buttons undone,
        He remarked with a smile,
        "Good grief, a sun-dial!
And now it's a quarter-past one."

A savvy young hooker named Gail
Got busted and lodged in the jail.
        But the jailer got hot,
        To be lodged in her twat,
And so Gail made the bail with her tail.

A scandal involving an oyster
Sent the Countess of Clews to a cloister
        She preferred it, in bed,
        To the count (so she said)
'Cause it's longer and stronger and moister.

A scream from the crypt of St. Giles
Resounded for miles upon miles.
        Said the friar, "Good gracious,
        The brother Ignatious
Forgeteth the abbot hath piles."