Freebsd Limericks

A remarkable race are the Persians,
They have such peculiar diversions.
        They screw the whole day
        In the regular way,
And save up the nights for perversions.

A responsive young girl from the East
In bed was an able artiste.
        She had learned two positions
        From family physicians,
And ten more from the old parish priest.

A romantic attraction has clung
To a chap of whom damsels have sung:
        "'Tis the Scourge from the East,
        That lascivious beast
Who was known as Attila the Hung!"

A sailor who slept in the sun,
Woke to find his fly buttons undone,
        He remarked with a smile,
        "Good grief, a sun-dial!
And now it's a quarter-past one."

A savvy young hooker named Gail
Got busted and lodged in the jail.
        But the jailer got hot,
        To be lodged in her twat,
And so Gail made the bail with her tail.

A scandal involving an oyster
Sent the Countess of Clews to a cloister
        She preferred it, in bed,
        To the count (so she said)
'Cause it's longer and stronger and moister.

A scream from the crypt of St. Giles
Resounded for miles upon miles.
        Said the friar, "Good gracious,
        The brother Ignatious
Forgeteth the abbot hath piles."

A seafaring hacker named Slatey
Went to bed with a VAX/780.
        The thing's learned to swear
        With a nautical air,
And refers to its users as "matey".

A sex-loving coed named Bree
Caught the clap from her Apple IIE.
        The joystick, she found,
        Had been fooling around
With a neighboring student's PC.

A silly young man from Hong Kong
Had hands that were skinny and long.
        He ate rice with his fingers--
        The taste of it lingers,
But now all his fingers are gone.