Freebsd Limericks

A weary old lecher named Blott
Took a luscious young blond to his yacht.
        Too lazy to rape her,
        He made darts out of paper,
Which he leisurely tossed at her twat.

A whimsical fellow named Bloch
Could beat the base drum with his cock.
        With a special erection
        He could play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach.

A wicked stone cutter named Cary
Drilled holes in divine statuary.
        With eyes full of malice
        He pulled out his phallus,
And buggered a stone Virgin Mary.

A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket
Had a hole as big as a basket.
        A spot, as a bride,
        In it now, you could hide,
And include with your luggage your mascot.

A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
        Said, "It's been hard since I lost him --
        I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."

A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His mouth can hold more than his belican.
        He can take in his beak
        Enough food for a week.
And I'm darned if I know how the helican.

A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His mouth can hold more than his belican.
        He can take in his beak
        Enough food for a week.
I'm darned if I know how the helican.

A wonderful tribe are the Sweenies,
Renowned for the length of their peenies.
        The hair on their balls
        Sweeps the floors of their halls,
But they don't look at women, the meanies.

A wood-fetish busboy named Gable
Is rapid, is thorough, is able;
        But when everything's cleared,
        He gives way to the weird,
As he lovingly busses each table.

A worn-out young husband named Lehr
Her daily his wife's plaintive prayer:
        "Slip on a sheath, quick,
        Then slip your big dick
Between these lips covered with hair."