Freebsd Limericks

A young wife in the outskirts of Reims
Preferred frigging to going to mass.
        Said her husband, "Take Jacques,
        Or any young cock,
For I cannot live up to your ass."

A young woman got married at Chester,
Her mother she kissed her and blessed her.
        Says she, "You're in luck,
        He's a stunning good fuck,
For I've had him myself down in Leicester."

According to experts, the oyster
In its shell - a crustacean cloister -
        May frequently be
        Either he or a she
Or both, if it should be its choice ter.

Alas for the Countess d'Isere,
Whose muff wasn't furnished with hair.
        Said the Count, "Quelle surprise!"
        When he parted her thighs;
"Magnifique!  Pourtant pas de la guerre."

All the female apes ran from King Kong
For his dong was unspeakably long.
        But a friendly giraffe
        Quaffed his yard and a half,
And ecstatically burst into song.

An aesthete from South Carolina
Had a cock that tickled like China,
        But while shooting his load
        It cracked like old Spode,
So he's bought him a Steuben vagina.

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves.
        She will use her bare fist
        If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.

An AI researcher named Bluth
Wrote, to find out the sexual truth,
        Eroticon VI,
        Which he taught certain tricks
Which I'm sure can't be found in Knuth.

An amazon giantess named Dunne
Let a midget screw her for fun.
        But the poor little runt
        Was engulfed in her cunt
And re-born as the twin of his son.

An ambitious lady named Harriet
Once dreamed she was raped in a chariot
        By seventeen sailors
        A monk and three tailors,
Mohammed and Judas Iscariot.