Freebsd Limericks

An artist who lived in Australia
Once painted his ass like a Dahlia.
        The drawing was fine,
        The colour - divine,
The scent - ah, that was a failia.

An eager young hacker named Gus
Once buggered a VAX Unibus.
        The hardware went bad,
        But not the young lad
(Except for the toupee and truss).

An eager young hacker named Gus
Once buggered a VAX Unibus.
        The hardware went bad,
        But not the young lad
He didn't expect all that fuss!

An Edwardian father named Udgeon,
Whose offspring provoked him to dudgeon,
        Used on Saturday nights
        To turn down the lights,
And chase them around with a bludgeon.
                -- Edward Gorey

An envious girl named McMeanus
Was jealous of her lover's big penis.
        It was small consolation
        That the rest of the nation
Of women were with her in weeness.

An exotic young lady named Suki
Once danced in a troupe of kabuki
        When asked for a fuck
        She said, "Solly, no luck--
See here: looky looky, no nuki "

An impish young fellow named James
Had a passion for idiot games.
        He lighted the hair
        Of his lady's affair
And laughed as she pissed through the flames.

An impotent Scot named MacDougall
Had to husband his sperm and be frugal.
        He was gathering semen
        To gender a he-man,
By screwing his wife through a bugle.

An incautious young woman named Venn
Was seen with the wrong sort of men;
        She vanished one day,
        But the following May
Her legs were retrieved from a fen.
                -- Edward Gorey

An indefatigable woman named Bavel
Had often occasion to travel;
        On the way she would sit
        And furiously knit,
And on the way back she'd unravel.
                -- Edward Gorey