Freebsd Limericks

At Vassar, sex isn't injurious,
Though of love we are never penurious.
        Thanks to vulcanized aids,
        Though we may die old maids,
At least we shall never die curious.

At whist drives and strawberry teas
Fan would giggle and show off her knees;
        But when she was alone
        She'd drink eau de cologne,
And weep from a sense of unease.
                -- Edward Gorey

Augustus, for slpashing his soup,
Was put for the night on the stoop;
        In the morning he'd not
        Repented a jot,
And next day he was dead of the croup.
                -- Edward Gorey

Augustus, for splashing his soup,
Was put for the night on the stoop;
        In the morning he'd not
        Repented a jot,
And next day he was dead of the croup.
                -- Edward Gorey

Back in the days of old Adam
The grass served as mattress for madam,
        And they spent the whole day
        On the sex that today
They would bounce on box springs, if they had 'em.

Each Friday his engines abort,
But Scotty is never caught short.
        He fills his machines
        With space-navy beans,
And farts the ship back into port.

Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot of my bed;
        I'd not mind that he speaks
        In gibbers and squeaks,
But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
                -- Edward Gorey

Each night Father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot ofmy bed;
        I'd not mind that he speaks
        In gibbers and squeaks,
But for the seventeen years he's been dead.
                -- Edward Gorey

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles
Came a bellow that echoed for miles.
        Said the rector, "My gracious,
        Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews,
There is really abominable news;
        They've discovered a head
        In the box for the bread,
But nobody seems to know whose.
                -- Edward Gorey