Freebsd Limericks

From deep in the crypt at St. Giles
Came a bellow that echoed for miles.
        Said the rector, "My gracious,
        Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles!?"

From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews,
There is really abominable news;
        They've discovered a head
        In the box for the bread,
But nobody seems to know whose.
                -- Edward Gorey

From the bathing machine came a din
As of jollification within;
        It was heard far and wide,
        And the incoming tide
Had a definite flavour of gin.
                -- Edward Gorey

"Fucked by the finger of Fate!"
Bewailed a young fellow named Tate.
        "Since dating Miss Baugh,
        My whole tongue has been raw--
It must have been something I ate."

In the case of a lady named Frost,
Whose cunt's a good two feet acrost,
        It's the best part of valor
        To bugger the gal, or
You're apt to fall in and get lost.

In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
        And loud was his mirth
        For on all of the earth
There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.

In the garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam
        And loud was his mirth
        For on all of the earth
There were only two balls and he had'em.

In the little French town of Le'Beau,
Lived a maiden exceedingly droll.
        At a masquerade ball,
        Clad in nothing at all,
She backed in as a Parker house roll.

It always delights me at Hank's
To walk up the old river banks.
        One time in the grass
        I stepped on an ass,
And heard a young girl murmur, "Thanks."

It had snowed, and the man in the drift,
Flagged her down and asked, "Give me a lift?"
        They sat in her Bentley,
        She fondled him gently,
And the lift that he'd asked for was swift!