Freebsd Limericks

A cowhand way out in Seattle
Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
        He said, "No, I can't fuck
        A lamb or a duck,
But golly! it just fits the cattle."

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Saracen.
        She was not oversexed,
        Or jealous or vexed,
She just wanted to make a comparison.

A CS student named Lin
Had a prick the size of a pin
        It was no good for girls
        But just great for squirrels
Who squealed with delight with it in.

A cute little twerp from Samoa
Had a cock of one inch and no moa.
        It was good for keyholes
        And debutantes' peeholes
But not worth a damn on a whoa.

A daredevil skater named Lowe,
Leaps barrels arranged in the snow,
        But is proudest of doing,
        Some incredible screwing,
Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row!

A deep-throated virgin named Netty
Was sucking a cock on the jetty.
        She said, "It tastes nice,
        Much better than rice,
Though not quite as good as spaghetti."

A delighted, incredulous bride
Remarked to her groom at her side :
        "I never could quite
         Believe till tonight
Our anatomies would coincide."

A dentist, young doctor Malone,
Got a charming girl patient alone,
        And, in his depravity,
        Filled the wrong cavity.
God, how his practice has grown.

A despairing old landlord named Fyfe,
With a frigid and quarrelsome wife,
        Let his third-story front,
        To a willing young cunt,
Who supplied him a new lease on life!

A desperate spinster from Clare
Once knelt in the moonlight all bare,
        And prayed to her God
        For a romp on the sod--
'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.