Freebsd Limericks

There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em.
        As they knelt on the hassock
        He lifted his cassock
And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.

There once was a boy named Carruthers
Who was busily fucking his mother
        "I know it's a sin,"
        He said, shoving it in,
"But it's better than blowing my brother."

There once was a chick named Longet,
Who went out to Aspen to play.
        Along came a Spyder,
        Who sat down beside her
And she blew the poor bastard away.

There once was a clergyman's daughter
Who detested the pony he bought her,
        Till she found that its dong
        Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her.

She married a fellow named Tony
Who soon found her fucking the pony.
        Said he, "What's it got,
        My dear, that I've not?"
Sighed she, "Just a yard-long bologna."

There once was a couple named Kelley,
Who lived their life belly to belly.
        Because in their haste
        They used library paste,
Instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who walked around belly-to-belly.
        It seems in their haste,
        They used Carter's paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a dentist named Stone
Who saw all his patients alone.
        In a fit of depravity
        He filled the wrong cavity,
And my, how his practice has grown!

There once was a Duchess of Beever
Who slept with her golden retriever.
        Said the potted old Duke :
        "Such tricks make me puke!
Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."

There once was a Duchess of Bruges
Whose cunt was incredibly huge.
        Said the king to this dame
        As he thunderously came:
"Mon Dieu!  Apres moi, le deluge!"

There once was a fag of Khartoom
Who spent the night in a Lesbians room.
        They argued all night,
        Over who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.