Freebsd Limericks

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who walked around belly-to-belly.
        It seems in their haste,
        They used Carter's paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.

There once was a dentist named Stone
Who saw all his patients alone.
        In a fit of depravity
        He filled the wrong cavity,
And my, how his practice has grown!

There once was a Duchess of Beever
Who slept with her golden retriever.
        Said the potted old Duke :
        "Such tricks make me puke!
Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."

There once was a Duchess of Bruges
Whose cunt was incredibly huge.
        Said the king to this dame
        As he thunderously came:
"Mon Dieu!  Apres moi, le deluge!"

There once was a fag of Khartoom
Who spent the night in a Lesbians room.
        They argued all night,
        Over who had the right,
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

There once was a fairy named Avers
Who encircled his cock with lifesavers.
        Though buggers all claimed
        That their asses were maimed,
Sixy-niners all cheered the new flavors.

There once was a fellow named Bob
Who in sexual ways was a snob.
        One day he was swimmin'
        With twelve naked women
And deserted them all for a gob.

There once was a fellow named Brewster
Who said to his wife, as he goosed her,
        "It used to be grand
        But look at my hand
You're not wiping as clean as ya uster."

There once was a fellow named Howard,
Whose tool it was nuclear-powered,
        While grabbing some ass,
        He reached critical mass,
But think of the girl he deflowered!

There once was a fellow named Potts
Who was prone to having the trots
        But his humble abode
        Was without a commode
So his carpet was covered with spots.