Freebsd Limericks

There once was a gangster named Brown
- the sneakiest bastard in town.
        He was caught by G-men
        Shooting his semen
Where the cops would slip and fall down.

There once was a gaucho named Bruno,
Who said, "About sex, well, I do know,
        Sheep are just fine,
        Chickens, divine,
But iguanas are Numero Uno."

There once was a gay young Parisian
Who screwed an appendix incision,
        And the girl of his choice
        Could hardly rejoice
At the horrible lack of precision.

There once was a girl from Cornell
Whose teats were shaped like a bell.
        When you touched them they shrunk,
        Except when she was drunk,
And then they got bigger than hell.

There once was a girl from Decatur,
Who got laid by a big alligator.
        Now nobody knew
        The result of that screw,
'Cause after he laid her, he ate her.

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had such a beautiful ass -
        It was not round and pink
        ( as you bastards think )
But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had such a beautiful ass -
        It was not round and pink
        (As you bastards think)
But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

There once was a girl from Spokane,
Went to bed with a one-legged man.
        She said, "I know you--
        You've really got two!
Why didn't you say so when we began?"

There once was a girl named Irene
Who lived on distilled kerosene
        But she started absorbin'
        A new hydrocarbon
And since then has never benzene.

There once was a girl named Louise
Who cunt hair hung down to her knees
        The crabs in her twat
        Tied the hairs in a knot
And constructed a flying trapeze