Freebsd Limericks

There once was a gouty old colonel
Who grew glum when the weather grew vernal,
        And he cried in his tiffin
        For his prick wouldn't stiffen,
And the size of the thing was infernal.

There once was a guardsman from Buckingham
Who said, "As for girls, I hate fucking 'em.
        But when I meet boys,
        God! how I enjoys
Just licking their peckers and sucking 'em."

There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen.
        So he built him some chicks,
        Of silicon chips,
And hasn't been heard from since then.

There once was a handsome young seaman
Who with ladies was really a demon.
        In peace or in war,
        At sea or on shore,
He could certainly dish out the semen.

There once was a horny old bitch
With a motorized self-frigger which
        She would use with delight
        All day long and all night -
Twenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.

There once was a horse named Lily
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
        It was vaginoid duply,
        And labial quadruply --
In fact, he was really a filly.

There once was a husky young Viking
Whose sexual prowess was striking.
        Every time he got hot
        He would scour the twat
Of some girl that might be to his liking.

There once was a jolly old bloke
Who picked up a girl for a poke.
        He took down her pants,
        Fucked her into a trance,
And then shit into her shoe for a joke.

There once was a kiddie named Carr
Caught a man on top of his mar.
        As he saw him stick 'er,
        He said with a snicker,
"You do it much faster than par."

There once was a lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
        One was even so brave
        As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.