Freebsd Limericks

There once was a horny old bitch
With a motorized self-frigger which
        She would use with delight
        All day long and all night -
Twenty bucks: Abercrombie & Fitch.

There once was a horse named Lily
Whose dingus was really a dilly.
        It was vaginoid duply,
        And labial quadruply --
In fact, he was really a filly.

There once was a husky young Viking
Whose sexual prowess was striking.
        Every time he got hot
        He would scour the twat
Of some girl that might be to his liking.

There once was a jolly old bloke
Who picked up a girl for a poke.
        He took down her pants,
        Fucked her into a trance,
And then shit into her shoe for a joke.

There once was a kiddie named Carr
Caught a man on top of his mar.
        As he saw him stick 'er,
        He said with a snicker,
"You do it much faster than par."

There once was a lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
        One was even so brave
        As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There once was a lady from Kansas
Whose cunt was as big as Bonanzas.
        It was nine inches deep
        And the sides were quite steep --
It had whiskers like General Carranza's.

There once was a lady named Carter,
Fell in love with a virile young Tartar.
        She stripped off his pants,
        At his prick quickly glanced,
And cried: "For that I'll be a martyr!"

There once was a lady named Clair,
Who posessed a magnificent pair.
        Or that's what I thought,
        Till I saw one get caught,
On a thorn and begin losing air.

There once was a lady named Myrtle
Who had an affair with a turtle.
        She had crabs, so they say,
        In a year and a day
Which proved that that turtle was fertile.