Freebsd Limericks

There once was a man from Nantee
Who buggered an ape in a tree.
        The results were most horrid
        All ass and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
        His daughter, named Nan,
        Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

The pair of them went to Manhasset,
(Nan and the man with the asset.)
        Pa followed them there,
        But they left in a tear,
And as for the asset, Manhasset.

Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket,
(Nan and the man with the bucket.)
        Pa said to the man,
        "You're welcome to Nan."
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
        He said with a grin,
        As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
        He said with a grin
        As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Racine,
Who invented a screwing machine.
        Both concave and convex,
        It could please either sex,
But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man from Sandem
Who was making his girl on a tandem.
        At the peak of the make
        She jammed on the brake
And scattered his semen at random.

There once was a man from Sydney
Who could put it up to her kidney.
        But the man from Quebec
        Put it up to her neck;
He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a man named Lodge,
who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
        When his date was strapped in,
        He committed a sin,
without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McGruder,
Who canoed with a girl in Bermuder.
        But the girl thought it crude,
        To be wooed in the nude,
So McGru took an oar and subduder.

There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney
        So just to be couth
        He added vermouth
And slipped his best girl a martini.