Freebsd Limericks

A dentist, young doctor Malone,
Got a charming girl patient alone,
        And, in his depravity,
        Filled the wrong cavity.
God, how his practice has grown.

A despairing old landlord named Fyfe,
With a frigid and quarrelsome wife,
        Let his third-story front,
        To a willing young cunt,
Who supplied him a new lease on life!

A desperate spinster from Clare
Once knelt in the moonlight all bare,
        And prayed to her God
        For a romp on the sod--
'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore
Got along with a sexy young sophomore.
        As quick as a glance
        He stripped off his pants,
But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

A doctoral student from Buckingham
Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
        But a dropout from paree
        Taught him Gamahuchee
- so he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

A doctoral student from Buckingham
Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em.
        But a dropout from paree
        Taught him Gamahuchee
So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice,
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
        She blew her vagina
        To South Carolina,
And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas.

A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill,
Used two dynamite sticks for a dil.
        They found her vagina,
        In South Carolina,
And part of her ass in Brazil.

A dolly in Dallas named Alice,
Whose overworked sex is all callous,
        Wore the foreskin away
        On uncircumcised Ray,
Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
Wished to foster an aura of menace;
        To make people afraid
        He wore gloves of grey suede
And white footgear intended for tennis.
                -- Edward Gorey

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
Wished to foster an aura of menace.
        To make people afraid
        He wore gloves of grey suede
And white footgear intended for tennis.
                -- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"