Freebsd Limericks

There once was a young girl from Natches
Who chanced to be born with two snatches
        She often said, "Shit!
        I'd give either tit
For a guy with equipment that matches."

There once was a young man from Boston
Who drove around town in an Austin,
        There was room for his ass,
        And a gallon of gas,
So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There once was a young man from France
Who waited ten years for his chance;
Then he muffed it...

There once was a young man from Yuma
Who attempted sex with a puma
        He gave up real quick
        Minus nose, toes, and prick
In obvious pain and ill huma.

There once was a young man from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma.
        Now his dry bleached bones lie,
        Under hot Asian skies,
'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.

There once was a young man named Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse, and died.
        He had a twin brother
        Who fell in another
And now they're interred side by side.

There once was a young man named Gene,
Who invented a screwing machine.
        Concave and convex,
        It served either sex,
And it played with itself inbetween.

There once was a young man named Lancelot
Whom the townsfolk would look at askance a lot
        For when he should pass
        A desirable lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot.

There once was an Arpanet freak,
Who better response-time did seek.
        He searched coast to coast,
        For a reliable host,
Whose logger took less than a week.

There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
        It at last grew so small,
        He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.