Freebsd Limericks

There once was a young man named Gene,
Who invented a screwing machine.
        Concave and convex,
        It served either sex,
And it played with itself inbetween.

There once was a young man named Lancelot
Whom the townsfolk would look at askance a lot
        For when he should pass
        A desirable lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot.

There once was an Arpanet freak,
Who better response-time did seek.
        He searched coast to coast,
        For a reliable host,
Whose logger took less than a week.

There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
        It at last grew so small,
        He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.

There once were two brothers named Luntz
Who buggered each other at once.
        When asked to account
        For this intricate mount,
They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."

There once were two women from Birmingham.
And this is the story concerning 'em.
        They lifted the frock
        And fondled the cock
Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a bluestocking in Florence
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents,
        Till a Spanish grandee,
        Got her off with his knee,
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a family named Doe,
An ideal family to know.
        As father screwed mother,
        She said, "You're heavier than brother."
And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"

There was a fat lady of China
Who'd a really enormous vagina,
        And when she was dead
        They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.

There was a fat man from Rangoon
Whose prick was much like a ballon.
        He tried hard to ride her
        And when finally inside her
She thought she was pregnant too soon.