Freebsd Limericks

There once were two brothers named Luntz
Who buggered each other at once.
        When asked to account
        For this intricate mount,
They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."

There once were two women from Birmingham.
And this is the story concerning 'em.
        They lifted the frock
        And fondled the cock
Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.

There was a bluestocking in Florence
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents,
        Till a Spanish grandee,
        Got her off with his knee,
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a family named Doe,
An ideal family to know.
        As father screwed mother,
        She said, "You're heavier than brother."
And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"

There was a fat lady of China
Who'd a really enormous vagina,
        And when she was dead
        They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.

There was a fat man from Rangoon
Whose prick was much like a ballon.
        He tried hard to ride her
        And when finally inside her
She thought she was pregnant too soon.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay dog from Ontario
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
        At a wench's glance
        He'd snatch off his pants
And make for her Mons Venerio.

There was a gay parson of Norton
Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un.
        To make up for this loss,
        He had balls like a horse,
And never spent less than a quartern.