Freebsd Limericks

There was a bluestocking in Florence
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents,
        Till a Spanish grandee,
        Got her off with his knee,
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a family named Doe,
An ideal family to know.
        As father screwed mother,
        She said, "You're heavier than brother."
And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"

There was a fat lady of China
Who'd a really enormous vagina,
        And when she was dead
        They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.

There was a fat man from Rangoon
Whose prick was much like a ballon.
        He tried hard to ride her
        And when finally inside her
She thought she was pregnant too soon.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay dog from Ontario
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
        At a wench's glance
        He'd snatch off his pants
And make for her Mons Venerio.

There was a gay parson of Norton
Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un.
        To make up for this loss,
        He had balls like a horse,
And never spent less than a quartern.

There was a gay parson of Tooting
Whose roe he was frequently shooting,
        Till he married a lass
        With a face like my arse,
And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with.
        The miller's son Jack
        Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.