Freebsd Limericks

There was a family named Doe,
An ideal family to know.
        As father screwed mother,
        She said, "You're heavier than brother."
And he said, "Yes, Sis told me so!"

There was a fat lady of China
Who'd a really enormous vagina,
        And when she was dead
        They painted it red,
And used it for docking a liner.

There was a fat man from Rangoon
Whose prick was much like a ballon.
        He tried hard to ride her
        And when finally inside her
She thought she was pregnant too soon.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay dog from Ontario
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
        At a wench's glance
        He'd snatch off his pants
And make for her Mons Venerio.

There was a gay parson of Norton
Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un.
        To make up for this loss,
        He had balls like a horse,
And never spent less than a quartern.

There was a gay parson of Tooting
Whose roe he was frequently shooting,
        Till he married a lass
        With a face like my arse,
And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with.
        The miller's son Jack
        Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a lewd fellow named Duff
Who loved to dive deep in the muff.
        With his head in a whirl
        He said, "Spread it, Pearl;
I cunt get enough of the stuff!"