Freebsd Limericks

There was a gay countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
        That in spite of high station,
        Rank and education,
She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a gay dog from Ontario
Who fancied himself a Lothario.
        At a wench's glance
        He'd snatch off his pants
And make for her Mons Venerio.

There was a gay parson of Norton
Whose prick, although thick, was a short 'un.
        To make up for this loss,
        He had balls like a horse,
And never spent less than a quartern.

There was a gay parson of Tooting
Whose roe he was frequently shooting,
        Till he married a lass
        With a face like my arse,
And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.

There was a girl from Aberystwyth
Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with.
        The miller's son Jack
        Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a lewd fellow named Duff
Who loved to dive deep in the muff.
        With his head in a whirl
        He said, "Spread it, Pearl;
I cunt get enough of the stuff!"

There was a man from Mich.
Who used to wish and wich.
        That spring would come
        So he could bum
Around and go out fich.

There was a pianist named Liszt
Who played with one hand while he pissed,
        But as he grew older
        His technique grew bolder,
And in concert jacked off with his fist.

There was a poor parson from Goring,
Who made a small hole in his flooring,
        Fur-lined it all round,
        Then laid on the ground,
And declared it was cheaper than whoring.

There was a strong man of Drumrig
Who one day did seven times frig.
        He buggered three sailors,
        Four dogs and two tailors,
And ended by fucking a pig.