Freebsd Limericks

There was a young cook with the art
Of making a delicious tart
        With a handful of shit,
        Some snot and some spit,
And he'd flavor the whole with a fart.

There was a young curate whose brain
Was deranged from the use of cocaine;
        He lured a small child
        To a copse dark and wild,
Where he beat it to death with his cane.
                -- Edward Gorey

There was a young damsel named Baker
Who was poked in a pew by a Quaker.
        He yelled, "My God!  what
        Do you call this -- a twat?
Why, the entrance is more than an acre!"

There was a young dolly named Molly
Who thought that to frig was a folly.
        Said she, "Your pee-pee
        Means nothing to me,
But I'll do it just to be jolly."

There was a young fellow called Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
        He had a twin brother
        Who fell in another
So now they're interred side by side.

There was a young fellow from Cal.,
In bed with a passionate gal.
        He leapt from the bed,
        To the toilet he sped;
Said the gal, "What about me, old pal?"

There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
        When they got into bed
        He cried, "God strike me dead!
This ain't a cunt -- it's a corridor!"

There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose cock was so long that it bent
        To save himself trouble
        He put it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
        Great tufts of grass
        Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were all covered with weeds.

There was a young fellow from Parma
Who was solemnly screwing his charmer.
        Said the damsel demure,
        "You'll excuse me, I'm sure,
But I must say you fuck like a farmer."