Freebsd Limericks

There was a young fellow named Feeney
Whose girl was a terrible meany.
        The hatch of her snatch
        Had a catch that would latch
- She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a young fellow named Fletcher,
Was reputed an infamous lecher.
        When he'd take on a whore
        She'd need a rebore,
And they'd carry him out on a stretcher.

There was a young fellow named Fyfe
Whose marriage was ruined for life,
        For he had an aversion
        To every perversion,
And only liked fucking his wife.

Well, one year the poor woman struck,
And she wept, and she cursed at her luck,
        And said, "Where have you gotten us
        With your goddamn monotonous
Fuck after fuck after fuck?

"I once knew a harlot named Lou --
And a versatile girl she was, too.
        After ten years of whoredom
        She perished of boredom
When she married a jackass like you!"

There was a young fellow named Gene
Who first picked his asshole quite clean.
        He next picked his toes,
        And lastly his nose,
And he never did wash in between.

There was a young fellow named Gluck
Who found himself shit out of luck.
        Though he petted and wooed,
        When he tried to get screwed
He found virgins just don't give a fuck.

There was a young fellow named Goody
Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he?
        If he found himself nude
        With a gal in the mood
The question's not woody but could he?

There was a young fellow named Grant
Who was made like the sensitive plant.
        When they asked "Do you fuck?"
        He replied, "No such luck.
I would if I could, but I can't."

There was a young fellow named Grimes
Who fucked his girl seventeen times
        In the course of a week --
        And this isn't to speak
Of assorted venereal crimes.

There was a young fellow named Harry,
Had a joint that was long, huge and scary.
        He grabbed him a virgin,
        Who, without any urgin',
Immediately spread like a fairy.

There was a young fellow named Hatch
Who was fond of the music of Bach.
        He said: "It's not fussy
        Like Brahms and Debussy;
Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."