Freebsd Limericks

There was a young fellow named Grant
Who was made like the sensitive plant.
        When they asked "Do you fuck?"
        He replied, "No such luck.
I would if I could, but I can't."

There was a young fellow named Grimes
Who fucked his girl seventeen times
        In the course of a week --
        And this isn't to speak
Of assorted venereal crimes.

There was a young fellow named Harry,
Had a joint that was long, huge and scary.
        He grabbed him a virgin,
        Who, without any urgin',
Immediately spread like a fairy.

There was a young fellow named Hatch
Who was fond of the music of Bach.
        He said: "It's not fussy
        Like Brahms and Debussy;
Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."

There was a young fellow named Kimble
Whose prick was exceedingly nimble,
        But fragile and slender,
        And dainty and tender,
So he kept it encased in a thimble.

There was a young fellow named Meek
Who invented a lingual technique.
        It drove women frantic,
        And made them romantic,
And wore all the hair off his cheek.

There was a young fellow named Morgan
Who possessed an unusual organ:
        The end of his dong,
        Which was nine inches long,
Was tipped with the head of a gorgon.

There was a young fellow named Paul
Who confessed, "I have only one ball.
        But the size of my prick
        Is God's dirtiest trick,
For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"

There was a young fellow named Pell
Who didn't like cunt very well.
        He would finger or fuck one,
        But never would suck one--
He just couldn't get used to the smell.

There was a young fellow named Price
Who dabbled in all sorts of vice.
        He had virgins and boys
        And mechanical toys,
And on Mondays... he meddled with mice!