Freebsd Limericks

A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd,
Who's cultured, well-spoken, well-bred,
        Had achieved some reknown
        For her tone going down--
There's a nice civil tongue in her head.

A fair-haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very, very foolish to place
        Her hand on your cock
        When it turned hard as rock,
For fear it would explode in your face.

A farmer I know named O'Doole
Had a long and incredible tool.
        He can use it to plow,
        Or to diddle a cow,
Or just as a cue-stick at pool.

A fellatrix's healthful condition
Proved the value of spunk as nutrition.
        Her remarkable diet
        (I suggest that you try it)
Was only her clients' emission.

A fellow whose surname was Hunt
Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt:
        This versatile spout
        Could be turned inside out,
Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

A fisherman off of Cape Cod
Said, "I'll bugger that tuna, by God!"
        But the high-minded fish
        Resented his wish,
And nimbly swam off with his rod.

A foolish geologist from Kissen
Just didn't know what he was missin',
        By studying rock
        And neglecting his cock,
And using it merely for pissin'.

A Frenchman who lived in Alsace
Had sex with a virgin named Grace.
        When he popped her cherry,
        She made things hairy
By bleeding all over his face.

A frustrated lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
        They found her vagina
        In North Carolina
And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A gay young prince from Morocco
Made love in a manner rococco.
        He painted his penis
        To resemble a venus
And flavored his semen with cocoa.