Freebsd Limericks

There was a young girl from New York
Who plugged up her quim with a cork
        A woodpecker or two
        Made the grade, it is true,
But it totally baffled the stork.

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who had nothing whatever to do.
        So she sat on the stairs,
        And counted cunt hairs,
Four thousand, three hundred and two.

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who noticed her lovers were few;
        So she walked out her door
        With a fig leaf, no more,
And now she's in bed - with the flu.

There was a young girl from Samoa
Who pledged that no man would know her.
        One young fellow tried,
        But she wriggled aside,
And he spilled all his spermatozoa.

There was a young girl from Seattle,
Whose hobby was sucking off cattle.
        But a bull from the South
        Shot a wad in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.

There was a young girl from Siam
Who said to her boyfriend Priam,
        "To seduce me, of course,
        You'll have to use force,
And thank goodness you're stronger than I am.

There was a young girl from St. Cyr
Whose reflex reactions were queer.
        Her escort said, "Mable,
        Get up off the table;
That money's to pay for the beer."

There was a young girl from St. Paul
Who went to a newspaper ball.
        Her dress caught on fire
        And burnt her entire
Front page and sport section and all.

There was a young girl from the Bronix
Who had a vagina of onyx.
        She had so much `tsoris'
        With her clitoris,
She traded it in for a Packard.

There was a young girl from the coast
Who, just when she needed it most,
        Lost her Kotex and bled
        All over the bed,
And the head and the beard of her host.