Freebsd Limericks

There was a young girl from St. Cyr
Whose reflex reactions were queer.
        Her escort said, "Mable,
        Get up off the table;
That money's to pay for the beer."

There was a young girl from St. Paul
Who went to a newspaper ball.
        Her dress caught on fire
        And burnt her entire
Front page and sport section and all.

There was a young girl from the Bronix
Who had a vagina of onyx.
        She had so much `tsoris'
        With her clitoris,
She traded it in for a Packard.

There was a young girl from the coast
Who, just when she needed it most,
        Lost her Kotex and bled
        All over the bed,
And the head and the beard of her host.

There was a young girl in Berlin
Who eked out a living through sin.
        She didn't mind fucking,
        But much preferred sucking,
And she'd wipe off the pricks on her chin.

There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
        Though he diddled his best,
        And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?"

There was a young girl in Dakota
Had a letter from Ickes; he wrote her:
        "In addition to gas
        We are rationing ass,
And you've greatly exceeded your quota."

There was a young girl name McKnight
Who got drunk with her boy-friend one night.
        She came to in bed,
        With a split maidenhead--
That's the last time she ever was tight.

There was a young girl named Ann Heuser
Who swore that no man could surprise her.
        But Pabst took a chance,
        Found a Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.

There was a young girl named Heather
Whose twitcher was made out of leather.
        She made a queer noise,
        Which attracted the boys,
By flapping the edges together.