Freebsd Limericks

There was a young girl name McKnight
Who got drunk with her boy-friend one night.
        She came to in bed,
        With a split maidenhead--
That's the last time she ever was tight.

There was a young girl named Ann Heuser
Who swore that no man could surprise her.
        But Pabst took a chance,
        Found a Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.

There was a young girl named Heather
Whose twitcher was made out of leather.
        She made a queer noise,
        Which attracted the boys,
By flapping the edges together.

There was a young girl named McCall
Whose cunt was exceedingly small,
        But the size of her anus
        Was something quite heinous --
It could hold seven pricks and one ball.

There was a young girl named O'Clare
Whose body was covered with hair.
        It was really quite fun
        To probe with one's gun,
For her quimmy might be anywhere.

There was a young girl named O'Malley
Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
        She got roars of applause
        When she kicked off her drawers,
But her hair and her bush didn't tally.

There was a young girl named Saphire
Who succumbed to her lovers desire.
        She said, "It's a sin,
        But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
        She said, "It's a sin,
        But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who screwed every man that she kissed with.
        She tickled the balls
        Of the men in the halls,
And pulled on the prongs that they pissed with.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to get grist with.
        The miller's sun, Jack,
        Laid her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.