Freebsd Limericks

There was a young girl of East Lynne
Whose mother, to save her from sin,
        Had filled up her crack,
        To the brim with shellac,
But the boys picked it out with a pin.

There was a young girl of Gibraltar
Who was raped as she knelt at the altar.
        It really seems odd
        That a virtuous God
Should answer her prayers and assault her.

There was a young girl of LLewellyn
Whose breasts were as big as a melon.
        They were big it is true,
        But her cunt was big too,
Like a bifocal, full-color, aerial view
Of Cape Horn and the Straits of Magellan.

There was a young girl of Mobile,
Who hymen was made of chilled steel,
        To give her a thrill,
        Took a rotary drill,
Or a number nine emery wheel.

There was a young girl of Moline
Whose fucking was sweet and obscene.
        She would work on a prick
        With every known trick,
And finish by winking it clean.

There was a young girl of Newcastle
Whose charms were declared universal.
        While one man in front
        Wired into her cunt,
Another was engaged at her arsehole.

There was a young girl of Pawtucket
Whose box was as big as a bucket.
        Her boy-friend said, "Toots,
        I'll have to wear boots,
For I see I must muck it, not fuck it."

There was a young girl of Penzance
Who boarded a bus in a trance.
        The passengers fucked her,
        Likewise the conductor,
While the driver shot off in his pants.

There was a young girl of Pitlochry
Who was had by a man in a rockery.
        She said, "Oh! You've come
        All over my bum;
This isn't a fuck -- it's a mockery."

There was a young girl of Rangoon
Who was blocked by the Man in the Moon.
        "Well, it has been great fun,"
        She remarked when he'd done,
"But I'm sorry you came quite so soon."