Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady from Dumfries
Who said to her boyfriend, "It's some freeze!
        My navel's all bare,
        So stick it in there,
Before both my legs and my bum freeze."

There was a young lady from Exeter,
So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
        One was even so brave
        As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There was a young lady from Hyde
Who ate a green apple and died.
        While her lover lamented
        The apple fermented
And made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady from Maine
Who claimed she had men on her brain.
        But you knew from the view,
        As her abdomen grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

There was a young lady from Munich
Who had an affair with a eunuch.
        At the height of their passion
        He dealt her a ration

There was a young lady from Munich
Who had an affair with a eunuch.
        At the height of their passion
        He dealt her a ration
From a squirt gun concealed in his tunic.

There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her heels in a doorway.
        She told her young man,
        "Get off the divan,
I think I've discovered one more way "

There was a young lady from Prentice
Who had an affair with a dentist.
        To make things easier
        He used anesthesia,
And diddled her, `non compos mentis'.

There was a young lady from Rheims
Who amazingly pissed in four streams.
        A friend poked around
        And a fly-button found
Lodged tight in her hole so it seems.

There was a young lady from Rio
Who slept with the Fornier trio.
        As she dropped her panties
        She said, "No andanties
I want this allegro con brio."