Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady from Spain
Who demurely undressed on a train.
        A helpful young porter
        Helped more than he orter,
And she promptly cried "Help me again"

There was a young lady from Spain
Who got sick as she rode on a train;
        Not once, but again,
        And again, and again,
And again, and again, and again.

There was a young lady from Spain
Whose face was exceedingly plain,
        But her cunt had a pucker
        That made the men fuck her,
Again, and again, and again.

There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like a young boy
        Though it tickled to kiss
        'Twas a source of much bliss
When she used it to brush a man's toy.

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who claimed to lack sexual feeling.
        But a cynic named Boris
        Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling.
        She laid on her back
        And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was a young lady from Wooster
Who complained that too many men gooster.
        So she traded her scanties
        For sandpaper panties,
Now they goose her much less than they used 'ter.

There was a young lady in Reno,
Who lost all her dough playing Keno.
        But she lay on her back,
        And opened her crack,
So now she owns the Casino!

There was a young lady named Alice
Who was known to have peed in a chalice.
        'Twas the common belief
        It was done for relief,
And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young lady named Astor
Who never let any get past her.
        She finally got plenty
        By stopping twenty,
Which certainly ought to last her.