Freebsd Limericks

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who claimed to lack sexual feeling.
        But a cynic named Boris
        Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.

There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling.
        She laid on her back
        And tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.

There was a young lady from Wooster
Who complained that too many men gooster.
        So she traded her scanties
        For sandpaper panties,
Now they goose her much less than they used 'ter.

There was a young lady in Reno,
Who lost all her dough playing Keno.
        But she lay on her back,
        And opened her crack,
So now she owns the Casino!

There was a young lady named Alice
Who was known to have peed in a chalice.
        'Twas the common belief
        It was done for relief,
And not out of protestant malice.

There was a young lady named Astor
Who never let any get past her.
        She finally got plenty
        By stopping twenty,
Which certainly ought to last her.

There was a young lady named Banker,
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor,
        She woke in dismay,
        When she heard the mate say,
"Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker."

There was a young lady named Blount
Who had a rectangular cunt.
        She learned for diversion
        Posterior perversion,
Since no one could fit here in front.

There was a young lady named Bower
Who dwelt in an Ivory Tower.
        But a poet from Perth
        Laid her flat on the earth,
And proceeded with penis to plough her.

There was a young lady named Brent
With a cunt of enormous extent,
        And so deep and so wide,
        The acoustics inside
Were so good you could hear when you spent.